IF EVERYONE BECAME HOTTER EVERY TIME THEY WERE A GOOD PERSON AND BECAME UGLY WHEN THEY DID HORRIBLE SHIT OH MY GOD
(via paperflowerscandyclouds)
thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
(via strange-but-funny)
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
some people think life is like a roller coaster but my life is more like one of those rides that spin really fast so you’re pinned to the wall and can’t do anything about it
(via straycatfreedom)
